The "Mexican" Holiday celebrated my Skydivers in Canada, Air Guitar gods in The Cayman Islands and Cerveza drinkers in Malta, and the USA...

But except for the state of Puebla.. It isn't celebrated in Mexico.;~D

I decided to write a very important article. Maybe the most important article of 2008. Maybe ever.  Since I not one to write serious blogs about politics, religion or current events you’re probably asking yourselves why I’m writing it and not someone else who is better at those kind of articles. You asked a great question. Why indeed am I writing it? Let’s look at my blog here at JU. I been a member here since June 17, 2005, and this will be my 54th article. Okay, not...

    Why does everyone hate microwave meals? It's not like you have to eat them, and why do you have a microwave if you don't use the cheap little packages of pre-perpared cardboard? Sure they're low quality and smell funny (or that may just be the ones I get), but they aren't mandatory, and it's not like you don't buy an appliance pretty much for the purpose of making them.

    This is a quiz to figure out which of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse you are.

Favorite Weapon: A. Sword                       B. Pen            C. Bubonic Plague     D. Thermonuclear WarheadFavorite Drink:     A. Beer        &nb...

To the Soviets May Day was a day of celebration. To the Western World, a sort of second Labor Day. To the Pagans, a spiritual celebration...

What has it become?

A day for every left wing whiner to spout off about their cause celeb.

So, Happy Left Wing Whiner Day!

 

 

 
Senator John, Chipmunk Cheeks, McCain has finally admitted that he keeps large quantities of food in his extended cheeks.    Telling this reporter, "It all started when I was in Nam, laying there in a hundred and twenty degrees of hell, feeling rats eating my goddamn dick... and just being too tired to do anything about it... well, didn't mean to talk about that.  You publish that shit and I will have you dead by morning.  Now, anyways, for the record.....

    I know how to fix our planet's carrying capacity. Launch most of the top 2% of people into space (a demographic I may fall into, mind you). Enjoy what they leave behind as you prepare for a nuclear bombardment of all continents but Antarctica (I claim first dibs to fallout shelters there). Next, wait a hundred years. Return to your normal places on Earth (or tell your posterity to). Kill any survivors you find. No more carrying capacity troubles. And, on a bright side, it only...

Gideon records is proud to announce the release of the latest single from their new group, Run OMC. Run OMc is composed of Senators McCain, Clinton, and Obama, who although they are fierce opponents, basically sing the same song. Here are the lyrics to their new single, "Vote This Way":

 

OBAMA’s PartThere's a independent voter
That's really got my motor
Runnin’ till Election Day,
Said “Yo’ Momma, I be votin’ for Obama
cuz Oprah wants to see it th...

Their holiness was there for all to see.... never mind I got nothin.

No matter what the naysayer, M., thinks.

I know that by having all these hamsters in my head, doing all the dark deeds that need to reluctantly be done to insure my future as a God like the Egyptian Pharaohs,  I AM PREPARING   the fiercest and most cuddly killing force the Chicago metropolitan area has ever seen. 

Having all these hamsters in my head makes it possible for me to quickly train new recruits specifically for the jobs that my Mind Hamsters are doing.  I...

I’ve added a new curse word to my vocabulary: “weed eater.” After yesterday’s attempt at manicuring my lawn and subsequent outbursts, I’m confident that Webster would readily incorporate its usage into American slang alongside its other entries usually reserved for four-letter words. Of course, my use of the word “weed eater” was accompanied by several of those existing four-letter descriptors already recognized by Webster. I’m fairly certain that ...

I think my position on Hamster Hair should be clear by now.  This fashion statement slows them down and I will not have that!!  Not in my army.  The problem is that afterwards they look kind of scrawny and pathetic.  A bitchin' tan really helps.  They say that if you look better, you feel better, so it probably applies to Hamsters, too.  So, of course, I have added tanning to their training schedules.

Today I lectured the new troops for two hours on how to do max...

I guess I should come out with an opinion on this 'hot' topic that is sweeping across the blogs...  Well, we all know Spuds Machenzie owed everything to certain oral technique which he first perfected on himself and then used to take Hollywood by storm... He had free beer!!!!  For life!!!  How many fucking dogs achieve that???  None.  So, I don't blame him . . . 

He sure could lick lap.  I'm sure everyone has by now seen the tapes on the net of him lap lovin...