(Ik schrijf dit op 4 juli dus dit is wat ik me kan herinneren) Vannacht om half een drong alles ineens tot me door. Alsof er een waterval aan emoties naar binnen werd gegoten. Ik ging verschrikkelijk huilen snikken met m'n hele lichaam. Annemiek schrok er mijns inziens wel een beetje van. Dit was het moment waarop de MUUR ineens volledig met de grond gelijk werd gemaakt. Ik moet nog even vertellen dat zo'n 9 maanden geleden Annemiek ook al weg wilde. Maar ik beloofde beterschap en ben ...

(Ik schrijf dit op 4 juli dus dit is wat ik me kan herinneren) Annemiek was vandaag (zaterdag) weg met mijn dochter Jeanique naar een handbal toornooi. Mijn acties gedurende het hele weekend zijn een blinde vlek. Geen idee. We gaan vandaag naar mijn schoonvader in verband met zijn verjaardag. We gaan daar eten. Gourmetten. Het was gezellig. Hoe vreemd dat ook klinkt. Het is allemaal nog steeds onwerkelijk.

(Ik schrijf dit op 4 juli dus dit is wat ik me kan herinneren) Deze dagen ben ik niet naar m'n werk gegaan. Ik kon het even niet meer volgen. Denk nou niet dat dit de eerste keer is dat Annemiek en ik uit elkaar wilden gaan. Gedurende onze hele relatie van inmiddels 18 jaar zijn er meerdere momenten geweest waarop vooral zij het niet meer zag zitten. Ik heb in mijn leven na een aantal zware teleurstellingen een MUUR opgebouwd. Die liet helaas weinig gevoel naar binnen en weinig naar buiten. ...

(Ik schrijf dit op 4 juli dus dit is wat ik me kan herinneren) Vandaag kwam ik thuis om ongeveer 4 uur. Annemiek (mijn vrouw) zegt dat ze me wil spreken. Ze wil scheiden. Bam. Knockout. Aangezien dit al een anderhalve week geleden is weet ik niet eens meer hoe ik reageerde.

Ihave been wondering......where do some of these ppl learn to drive?????they cut you off bypulling out in from of you then act like you offend them when you tell them how stupid they are.but now for the real reason for this entry.....my ex packed up two small kids and ran home to mama in march, now she wants to come back home.......do i let her?? i do love her very much and i want to have my kids back but do i let her just waltz back into mylife????hell she waited til i was leaving for work...

one of the things that initially attracted me to my husband was his practicality ... (yes, i know that's not romantic, but then, neither am i) ... he was logical, organised, and sharp . i married a reasonably switched-on man. or so i thought . it appears, however, that this was merely a cunning ruse on his part to get that ring on my finger and then attempt to undergo evolutionary regression !. ... do any of these terrible afflictions sound familiar, chickies ? ... cond...

My Darling one and only No more talk of darkness forget these wide eyes of fear, I am here, nothing can harm you my words will warm and com you, let me be your freedom, let daylight dry you tears, I am here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you, then say you love me every winter morning turn my head with talk of summer time, say you need me with you now and always, promise me that all you say is truth, that’s all I ask of you, let me be your shelter, let me be your light, yo...

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I just read this article about how Sarah Jessica thinks her marriage works because she mommy's Matthew . Now at first I passed it off as insane. I kept thinking, good luck to her, cause her son will be the same. But now that I think about it, I do the same for Hubby. I guess it can be thought of as enabling but my stress level is reduced considerably when I do certain things for him. I put his wallet by his cell phone. I place his cell phone in his charger. I put his keys by the d...

i have a day off today after working my ass off yesterday. i was alone, and i always like that....i get more things done that way. Angela, my boss, was impressed with everything i did, and i told her she should be 'cause i worked my ass off. so i came home and i started feeling depressed again, just from looking at the mess in the kitchen from the night before. its that same feeling of having to clean, make the house look nice for andrew because he is working hard, making the big bucks fo...

my parents are divorced, and they SHOULD be. they are so patently wrong for each other that i am frankly amazed i even exist. in fact, my birthdate lends me to suspect that if my parents hadn’t attended some boozy new years’ eve party in 1968, i would not be here. humbling thought, that ... my entire existence probably came into being as a result of my twenty-something parents bridging their “communication” problems with some dodgy vodka punch and having a festive sha...

Just a quickie. Why does my hubby keep the empty toilet paper roll on our towel holder? Does he use them as periscopes when he's on the loo? The trash is right under the sink. Why can't he dispose of them? Are they sentimental?

You guys remember Herbie? He used to come over all the time when we lived in NC, he is coming over tomorrow for the rest of the weekend. He is coming up to celebrate Bretts b-day. Yes Brett will be 28 on Sunday. The old fart. I have a girlfriend coming over Sunday as well. Sounds like it is going to shape up to be a pretty good day, huh? I still haven;t gotten Brett anything... not sure wht to get him. I think he got enough special treatment in Thailand, anymore he will be too spoile...

These are in no particular order.... Hearing his voice, in person, not at the end of a phone line. Being able to reach out and touch him when I'm half asleep. We don't 'spoon' all night anymore, but as long as we're touching each other in some way both of us have agreed that we get a much better night's sleep. It's the comfort factor. I also miss feeling his breath on the back of my head when we do 'spoon', and the hair on his legs tickling me. His smell. Not stinky smell, but jus...

I have to blog about this, I just have to. I was on the phone with Dave earlier, and I had told him that the shirt he had left behind didn't smell like him anymore (I sleep with it and I find it incredibly comforting). I said that I had even gone and sniffed his ball cap but I couldn't smell there either...I didn't say anything about being sad about it, but I think he could tell by the sound of my voice. "Don't worry babe" he said "I'll make it right". "What d'ya mean?" I said. "I'...